|
Post by msguineapiggie on Apr 17, 2008 3:30:41 GMT
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
|
|
|
Post by PiggyPerson on Apr 17, 2008 12:23:13 GMT
The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.
One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. "I just got some news, mom," he said. "The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They've decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?"
"What do I think?" his mother asked. "Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don't think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!"
|
|
|
Post by Katie on Apr 17, 2008 20:22:53 GMT
teehee! vry good guys *applauds*
|
|
|
Post by PiggyPerson on Apr 18, 2008 11:36:20 GMT
A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go to school?"
The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question. "Yale," she replied.
The Georgia student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL?"
|
|
|
Post by Katie on Apr 18, 2008 12:29:42 GMT
lol!! Very good!
|
|
|
Post by Jujumonki on Apr 18, 2008 21:54:47 GMT
Yes msguineapig, the answer is SILENCE
|
|
|
Post by PiggyPerson on Apr 19, 2008 13:45:42 GMT
i would have never got that msguineapig
A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit.
Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."
Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh...I know what you've been doing."
|
|
|
Post by Melza on Apr 20, 2008 6:35:38 GMT
LOL! these are great
|
|
|
Post by Katie on Apr 20, 2008 13:19:51 GMT
lol funny stuff! x
|
|
|
Post by lynniepig on Apr 20, 2008 16:12:38 GMT
My favourite joke of all time:
Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went up the road and turned into a field.
|
|
|
Post by Katie on Apr 20, 2008 19:45:35 GMT
teehee! i really need to find some good jokes
|
|
|
Post by Melza on Apr 21, 2008 9:38:25 GMT
XD that is great! XD LOL
|
|
|
Post by PiggyPerson on Apr 22, 2008 11:43:08 GMT
Two men went into a diner and sat down at the counter. They ordered two sodas, took sandwiches out of their packs and started to eat them. The owner saw what was going on and approached the men. "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" he exclaimed. The two men stopped, looked at each other, and then swapped sandwiches.
|
|
|
Post by Melza on Apr 22, 2008 22:44:44 GMT
eeeeee! nice! XD
|
|
|
Post by Jujumonki on Apr 23, 2008 21:32:06 GMT
Rofl I remembered a joke today while I was building a Tankbot in Shop today Okay, so, a group of millitary workers are sitting in their base at one point when one of them asks the general about the new guns that they were meant to get in. The general says that they didn't have enough money for new amunition and weapons, so he told the soldier to hold his hands in the general gun position (index finger out straight, thumb up, other fingers tucked in) and say 'bang' when pointing at someone. The soldier didn't believe the general at all, so he decided to try it on an enemy he saw approaching. He held his hand out like a gun and said 'bang!' and the man fell instantly dead. Amazed, the soldier tried on another enemy, and just like before after holding his hand like a gun and shouting 'bang!' the man died. Still thinking that this was all a coincidence, the man tried aiming at another man far away. Again, he pointed and shouted 'bang!' but nothing happened, so the soldier tried to get closer.. He tried shouting 'bang!' again with his pointed hand-gun, but it didn't work! So he tried getting even closer, until finally he could hear the man repeatedly saying under his breath "tank tank tank tank"
|
|
|
Post by MarigoldYAY! on Apr 23, 2008 21:45:46 GMT
lol these r funny.
a man walked into a bar. ouch.
oh yea and i dont get the one about the elephant in the fridge.
|
|
|
Post by Melza on Apr 24, 2008 6:38:51 GMT
LOL juju XD that is classic! heh heh! *tank tank tank tank* its like kids play time! XD LOL.
|
|
|
Post by PiggyPerson on Apr 24, 2008 12:28:43 GMT
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripped before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
|
|
|
Post by 5boars on Apr 24, 2008 15:44:39 GMT
A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go to school?" The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question. "Yale," she replied. The Georgia student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL?" OK. I'm gonna let this one go since I went to Valdosta State University. But, I also don't know if that makes it any better because it's even further south in GA. HEHE Y'all tell me whatcha thank. ::)It was really funny though, good job
|
|
ramblepig
Tin Member
Is that a camera?
Posts: 125
|
Post by ramblepig on Apr 24, 2008 18:11:27 GMT
These are all very funny! I would post a joke but i can't think of any of mine that are even moderately funny. * Most people end up laughing at their sheer patheticness* Sob!
|
|