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Post by Jujumonki on Apr 26, 2008 23:32:13 GMT
lol Elhsa, even better than the "A man walks into a bar" joke (yet much more horrible and cruel ) "A seal walks into a club" lol sorry. Sick sense of humour over!
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Post by Teebers on Apr 27, 2008 6:17:02 GMT
They're the best kind!
Who wants to do an Irish knock knock joke with me?
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Post by Melza on Apr 27, 2008 7:36:41 GMT
LOL!!! i love the pathetic kind! they make me laugh with their dryness, and how the person puts them across, ah always good!
oh go on then teebers
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Post by Teebers on Apr 27, 2008 8:24:26 GMT
Ok!! Well, you start - ask me 'knock knock'.
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Post by Melza on Apr 27, 2008 10:34:25 GMT
Knock Knock...
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Post by Teebers on Apr 27, 2008 11:30:10 GMT
Who's there?
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Post by Melza on Apr 27, 2008 11:32:54 GMT
now what do i say... or was that the joke! sorry, its too late at night... should i just be laughing... LOL?
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Post by Teebers on Apr 27, 2008 11:36:36 GMT
Yeah that was the joke... I laughed!
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Post by Melza on Apr 27, 2008 11:42:09 GMT
oh! LOL
i suppose it would confuse people face to face too... heh heh nice one teebers
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Post by Jujumonki on Apr 27, 2008 15:37:53 GMT
Teebers that's brilliant.
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Post by PiggyPerson on Apr 27, 2008 17:19:15 GMT
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops, a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back. the driver was five foot three, thin, and basically meek. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened--Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of his summer vacation, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?" With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."
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Post by beckee on Apr 27, 2008 22:06:17 GMT
Why are pirates called pirates?
They just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRE! lol
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Post by Melza on Apr 28, 2008 10:15:16 GMT
nice one piggyxperson LOL beckee, thats the sorta dry joke that i like ! XD
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Post by 5boars on Apr 28, 2008 14:27:03 GMT
Yeah I laughed at both of those. Beckee and I are on the same page when it comes to jokes. I only know those kind also. That's why so many of you get me with yours. They require to much thinking. My husband always says I have to jump to get jokes. Ya know cause they go right over my head. He's funny isn't he.
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Post by PiggyPerson on Apr 28, 2008 20:00:34 GMT
Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?" "What dear?" she asks gently. "I think you bring me bad luck."
and heres a quote: he who dies laughing probably heard something funny just before he died
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Post by Melza on Apr 29, 2008 10:04:40 GMT
LOL 3boars4now, hehe love that! XD
LOL piggyxperson, ive had a pretty bad day, so that was a nice chuckle.
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Post by PiggyPerson on May 4, 2008 22:54:28 GMT
A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine."
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Post by PiggyPerson on May 5, 2008 12:08:20 GMT
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, have computer skills, and be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office.
Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.
The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded!
He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentence that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual." The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."
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Post by 3piggles on May 5, 2008 13:57:48 GMT
I get such a kick out of reading these posts. They're great for really bad days. A business down the street from us has a sign outside, and they post cute sayings. Their latest is: If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? I thought I'd share that!!
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Post by PiggyPerson on May 6, 2008 12:10:38 GMT
A fellow was sitting in the doctor's waiting room, and said to himself every so often, "Lord I hope I'm sick!" After about the 5th or 6th time, the receptionist couldn't stand it any longer and asked, "Why in the world would you want to be sick, Mr. Adams?" The man replied, "I'd hate to be well and feel like this."
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