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Post by 3piggles on May 22, 2012 13:37:26 GMT -5
Wonderful, anaira. I reread the Christmas ones on my way down the page, and hadn't stop laughing from those!!!
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Post by Teebers on May 29, 2012 4:37:03 GMT -5
What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
Swedes. ;P
I had to google swedes to get that one! It's now my new favourite!
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Post by anaira on May 31, 2012 22:48:51 GMT -5
You'd never heard of Sweden? Oh, you Aussies. *shakes head sadly*
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Post by Bean on Jun 1, 2012 3:59:41 GMT -5
He's a chump! Crouchyy is a bit sharper though.
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Post by Teebers on Jun 2, 2012 1:32:57 GMT -5
I resent that. Crouchyy is an idiot!
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Post by anaira on Jun 4, 2012 7:48:20 GMT -5
Yes, well, we won't say what that implies about you then, since you've probably missed it.
What do you get when a cat swallows a ball of wool?
Mittens!
heh
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Post by 3piggles on Jun 4, 2012 11:56:36 GMT -5
Haha, cute!!!
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Post by anaira on Jun 5, 2012 3:31:01 GMT -5
Why did I think Teebers wrote that, when I read that this morning?? Are you mods messing with my mind? ;( I even thought at the time it didn't seem quite in the Teebs style.
Being a mechanical engineer student, I found these hilarious. Sorry if it's a bit long to read through, I didn't really want to cut any out!
Quantas Problem Solving
After every flight, Qantas' pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, & then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots & the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P= The problem logged by the pilot.) (S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in altitudehold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
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Post by Bean on Jun 5, 2012 13:45:52 GMT -5
Haha they're good!
And no one's messing with your mind, you're just losing your marbles!
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Post by jolovespiggies on Jun 10, 2012 8:58:42 GMT -5
Briliant, I have just had a really good laugh.
Hugs
JO xx
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