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Post by 3piggles on Jan 31, 2018 19:57:26 GMT
Ugh! to the kidney stones I hope, if that's what it is, you can pass the stones once you get your diet back under control. I have no restraint with chocolate, either, in pretty much any form, which is why I try to restrict it in pretty much every form, lol I have noticed sweets backing up on me a lot lately, which is a good reminder to stop with the sweet tea, and get back to drinking water! It's really not your gender as much as generations of upbringing that said women take care of men. Mothers generally took very good care of their sons, so as their sons become men, they still want someone to do that for them, when they're feeling really lousy. It's a reasonable desire, but one that some men took to the extreme, becoming whiny, demanding annoyances. One of my aunts, who cared for her sick brother until he died, said she was so relieved when he was finally gone, and she could at least catch a breath before he came up with another issue that just had to be resolved immediately. I'm really hoping that while girls are being raised to be more in control of themselves, and not to be help mates and some guys back up, that boys are also being raised to be people, and not someone who gets waited on by mommy, every time he's sick. While we're on "man" issues, and I never thought about this until it was mentioned, the MBTA in Boston has posted signs on municipal trains and buses about "man spread " Apparently, guys open their legs way past the width of their shoulders, taking up two or three seats worth of space. On crowded trains and buses, that is a real annoyance. I don't know if it's technically called man spread, or if that's a term the MBTA used to designate that action, but men riding the buses and trains have been told to not open their legs past the width of their shoulders, in consideration for all the other people who need seats. I've been much more aware of it since that announcement, and am no seeing it everywhere. I hadn't realized how widespread it was. Is that a problem in the UK, too?
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Post by bazookagoof on Feb 1, 2018 3:33:50 GMT
It's really not your gender as much as generations of upbringing that said women take care of men. Mothers generally took very good care of their sons, so as their sons become men, they still want someone to do that for them, when they're feeling really lousy. It's a reasonable desire, but one that some men took to the extreme, becoming whiny, demanding annoyances. One of my aunts, who cared for her sick brother until he died, said she was so relieved when he was finally gone, and she could at least catch a breath before he came up with another issue that just had to be resolved immediately. I'm really hoping that while girls are being raised to be more in control of themselves, and not to be help mates and some guys back up, that boys are also being raised to be people, and not someone who gets waited on by mommy, every time he's sick. While we're on "man" issues, and I never thought about this until it was mentioned, the MBTA in Boston has posted signs on municipal trains and buses about "man spread " Apparently, guys open their legs way past the width of their shoulders, taking up two or three seats worth of space. On crowded trains and buses, that is a real annoyance. I don't know if it's technically called man spread, or if that's a term the MBTA used to designate that action, but men riding the buses and trains have been told to not open their legs past the width of their shoulders, in consideration for all the other people who need seats. I've been much more aware of it since that announcement, and am no seeing it everywhere. I hadn't realized how widespread it was. Is that a problem in the UK, too? It's just my way, but if I get sick, the last thing I want is someone watching over me- my personal preference is to be left alone where I'll try to sleep as much as possible. If I need medicine, I don't mind if someone can get it for me, (leaving the house to procure it) but after that just leave me alone in my room to suffer. I haven't heard about "man spread", but I think that's just general rudeness where people take up more space than they should, and that's been around for along time.
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Post by Bean on Feb 1, 2018 9:35:19 GMT
Haha! Man spread. I have heard of that, but on an American show. I don't find it so much a problem on buses etc as even if someone is sitting with their legs spread out because they have a couple of seats to themselves, they'll pretty much always move up if someone sits next to them. Can you believe this sort of thing needs signs?!
My husband loves being fussed over if he's ill (or anytime really) but me fussing doesn't happen much! I'm happy to take good care of people who are ill, but if they're moaning on in a self-pitying way (as said husband tends to), they find they get checked on a whole lot less!
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Post by jolovespiggies on Feb 1, 2018 16:46:51 GMT
I have never heard of Man Spread either Baz sweetie and no Bean hunni, I can't believe that there are signs for it but on the other hand, nothing surprises me. I am happy to look after someone who is ill and it would be nice to be looked after myself but we won't go there.
Hugs JO xx
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Post by 3piggles on Feb 1, 2018 19:56:12 GMT
The man spread problem/signs were on the news. The signs also included backpacks, which apparently people like to put on the seat beside them, and not move when someone needs the seat, purses(same problem), shopping bags, etc. The basic them is don't take up more than one seat, period. The fact that it needs signs means it's a very big problem. The solutions are to add more trains/buses and drivers, or make people only take up one seat.
I think this came about because the MBTA can track the number of riders on the buses and trains, know how many seats there are, and know how many of those people ought to be able to get seats. So when the major complain is that people spread themselves and their stuff all over the seats, and refuse to move anything, something has to be done. The MBTA announced they were starting with the signs, but would step up patrols on the trains, and probably driver involvement on the buses, to force the changes, if necessary.
I don't know if this is a problem nationally, or just in Boston. I'm from Massachusetts, originally, and the people in Massachusetts tend to each think they own the world. It makes for some of the nastiest drivers in the world, and there's no reason to think that mentality doesn't spill over to riding, as well.
My parents said, when they first moved to San Francisco, that there is a completely different mentality on the west coast than on the east coast. They said west coast people are very laid back, compared to east coasters, who are always pushing to get somewhere, do something, etc. They also said the west coasters were much more willing to help out people around them, while east coasters walk right by, as if you don't exist. That was one thing I liked about New Hampshire, life was much slower, even in the cities, and in general, the people are nicer than they were in Massachusetts. It would be interesting to know if that's a problem in NYC, or other places.
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Post by jolovespiggies on Feb 2, 2018 8:58:28 GMT
An article I read at some point bring this all back to me Piggles hunni. It stated the difference between west coast and east coast people in the US. Where I am living now is very quiet indeed but we have a good community and will help each other out. When I lived n London in the 1960's it was friendly where we were but I have been told that that has changed dramatically.
Hugs JO xx
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Post by 3piggles on Feb 2, 2018 20:42:01 GMT
Interestingly, a lot of east coasters consider west coasters to be nosy and annoying. I think that says a lot about how much east coasters live fairly solitary lives, especially in cities, while even in west coast cities, the people are more open, friendly and helpful. My father had trouble walking, and fell backward trying to board a bus in San Francisco. My mother said everyone behind him just crowded in to catch him, without even thinking. We all doubted east coasters would do that. Sad that some east coasters have such a feeling of "not my problem," where others in need are concerned. It's not all east coasters, though, and sometimes we even surprise ourselves Got an inch or two of snow yesterday, then it turned cold and windy, and the snow blew against the trunks of trees, making very pretty, snow covered tree trunks, pine boughs, etc. It's cold enough that the snow just blew there and froze on. It's cool We'll get more above freezing weather. We're still on the roller coaster ride. Snow/rain, very cold, above freezing, repeat, lol We have cold coming down from Canada, and Canada knows how to do cold
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Post by jolovespiggies on Feb 3, 2018 20:14:18 GMT
People's attitudes do differ wherever you go love. I lived in London as a child and really loved to go to Stoke-on-Trent where my mother's family live. It was always more cheerful and friendly and people would go out of their way to help you. How I wish I could go back to those days.
Hugs JO xx
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Post by 3piggles on Feb 5, 2018 16:21:09 GMT
I think I came from two dysfunctional families, lol I can't see either side was at all like that. At least when we were kids, all the adults would talk to each other, and we kids would go play. We saw each other maybe once a year, so we weren't close. We just weren't allowed to interrupt the adults, so we all played together. Now that my parents are both gone, I never see or speak to anyone from either side of the family. Don't even know how they're doing, and they never try to find out how I'm doing, either. Spent the weekend cooking and with major back problems, which just made the cooking take that much longer. Poor hubby got to do endless kitchen clean up He said it was worth it just to have a week of meals to look forward to I'm hoping to spend more time on my bike today, and get those muscles and joints moving a bit better. I do believe the sun is trying to make an appearance. The plants and I will be so happy for some real sun. It's been a bit gloomy lately.
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Post by Bean on Feb 6, 2018 8:59:26 GMT
I agree that a bit of sunshine goes a long way, even if the weather is still cold or otherwise unpleasant to be out in!
Hope you get your biking in, and that your back problems start to ease a bit soon. Glad hub was able to do your clear ups for you - I'm not sure I'd get the same service here!
It's interesting who you stay in touch with and who you lose contact with when certain members of the family are no longer around to bring you together. There are a few distant family members who we saw a lot when I was growing up, but I doubt we'll see again now the grandparents generation have all gone. We live too far away to easily meet up, and I think we've only seen them at funerals for the last 10 years. We always enjoyed catching up, yet none of us have made a move to even do anything like send a Christmas card - ah well!
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Post by jolovespiggies on Feb 6, 2018 13:13:23 GMT
Ii soon learned not to interrupt too hunni with "Adults are talking" as if they were some supreme beings!! I am sorry you back has been really bad again and I hp it will not interfere with your bike rides.
I was only thinking this morning Bean sweetie about all the people who have drifted into my life for a period of time an left it again. It is sad really. Most of my relatives have gone too and as I have become older, I realise how much I miss them and if only I hadn't wasted so much time when they were here. The song "Living Years" springs to mind.
Hugs JO xx
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Post by 3piggles on Feb 6, 2018 20:58:33 GMT
You may not have wasted time, Jo. You could write to them, tell them you suddenly realized how long it had been since you'd connected with them, and ask them how they're doing. Tell them you'd like to reestablish contact. Some will probably write back, ask you for an email address or a phone number, or even ask to connect with you on Facebook. You never know until you try.
Most of my family on my mothers side live about an hour from here, but even when I reached out to them, I never heard back. They are all busy with their lives. The ones in the area of my mothers home town all get together at times, but I doubt those living elsewhere do. I reached out to a cousin who isn't that far from me, when her husband was dying in the hospital. I told her to contact me if she needed anything, as I was close by. I never heard anything.
I don't feel badly not having anything to do with them. Neither side of my family was particularly close, except with others who lived very close to them. A lot of my father's extended family lives/lived in Manchester, which has never been very far from me, but other than meeting up with a cousin I hadn't seen since I was a little girl, I never connected with any of them. Turned out that cousin was the life long best from of my next door neighbor, two houses ago. Small world.
Sadly, hubby always thought his family was really closely knit, but even when some of them come north, and passed a few miles from our house, they never even let us know they were there. Same with my sister and husband, when they came up to Maine. We could have driven up to meet them, but we weren't on their itinery. One of hubby's boyhood friends calls regularly, and even stops by when he and his wife are up near us, but no family bothers. So we're fine as we are.
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Post by jolovespiggies on Feb 7, 2018 17:01:27 GMT
There isn't anybody to write to anymore hunni, except some in Italy. They are rich and want nothing to do with us. Considering there is a lot of Latin blood in our family, we have never been close.
Hugs JO xx
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Post by 3piggles on Feb 8, 2018 21:51:29 GMT
I think Facebook, etc., has replaced pen pals, thank you notes, and a whole lot of reasons why we used to stay in contact with people. I was never close to either side of my extended family, so I'm not bothered by them not bothering. Hubby is bothered to find his sisters would come so close to where we live, and not bother to even call and arrange to meet somewhere. They were always so insistent that we go to Florida, but won't come up here.
Facebook has actually provided me with friends I am far closer to emotionally than I ever was to anyone in my family. I have a small group of really close friends, and I do look forward to talking to them. I also look forward to coming on here and getting caught up with my Wheekers friends. If I miss a day for any reason, I miss touching base with you.
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Post by jolovespiggies on Feb 9, 2018 14:46:16 GMT
You are right Piggles sweetie, I think Facebook has replaced penpals. I too don't like missing a day on here but due to the current circumstances, it has happened too often lately. I have a couple of close friends, one especially so as she helped us out financially when no one else would, but I have never met her. My other two friends I see once in a blue moon.
Hugs Jo xx
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